What Is Is That I Object To or Resist In The Reality Of Getting Old?

Why Am I So Preoccupied With Beauty?

The answer has several layers.

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It's an awkward question isn't it?
When someone asks you,
"How old do you think I am?"

Naturally you have to be polite.
We all hope we are told we look younger than we do.
...isn't that sad.
We are all so dissatisfied with our progress in life, we desperately hope that others perceive that we have more time than we do.

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There's a common saying,
"The Spirit Is Willing, But the Flesh Is Weak."

It's so sad...getting old.
Still being attracted to younger members of the opposite sex, even though you inspire nothing but disgust in them.
Still wanting to express yourself in spontaneous demonstrations of joy, but not having the appearance to make it anything but a polite indulgence on the part of those who observe you,
"Ah..." they politely say, "How sweet. That old person is trying to relive their youth."
A cute thing.
Almost...pitiable.
Just the "goings on" of old people.

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I'm 30 now.
It feels...bad...

I deserve to have a great life...
A life of beauty and spontaneity...but I need more time to make it happen...and I don't want to get old and ugly...ever.

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I think everyone should be able to enjoy a lifetime of being beautiful and powerful,
to be able to delight in their bodies and appearance throughout the entirety of their time here on Earth.

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Conclusion

That is why I object and resist the reality of becoming old.